Far, very far from here, in a little village full of mushroom-shaped houses live the Smurfs. The little characters are three apples high, have blue skin and are dressed in white trousers and a cap. Yet they are a happy, easy-going bunch - give or take one or two. As for the character description, it comes straight from the official Smurf's website (trust me I could not make it up any better!). So without further ado here is All Things Anderson's recasting of "The Smurfs".
Papa Smurf will be played by Wolf Blitzer. "You can recognize the village leader by his white beard. Papa Smurf is no less than 542 years old - and no more either. He uses his wisdom to advise rather than tell people what to do. He often rescues the younger Smurfs from danger."
Grandpa Smurf is the oldest of all Smurfs and is played by Larry King. "His energy and enthusiasm are impressive. Besides wearing bright suspenders, Grandpa always wears glasses. He's an avid storyteller and loves to show off some of the souvenirs he has collected during his travels."
I had to take a little poetic license with Brainy Smurf, played by Anderson Cooper. Brainy is a Smurf that takes smurfing very seriously. He is exceptionally smurfy with the snarky comments and finds that Smurf blue suits him very well.
"Since Smurfette's arrival, all the Smurfs are in love. But none more than this chap." This may be a bit of an exaggeration, but John did tell Laura Bush that most of the CNN men find Kyra Phillips to be mucho caliente. So, because of this, John King will be playing Enamored Smurf. (And yes, I am a little jealous of Kyra!)
"The wicked Gargamel originally created Smurfette to stir up trouble in the village. But Papa Smurf's magic turned her into the charming little Smurf that everyone adores." The lovely Kyra Phillips will be portraying Smurfette.
"No matter what anyone says, Grouchy is against it. He grumbles and mumbles and always thinks negative. But underneath it all, he's a softy, but he'd hate it if people knew. "
Sounds perfect for Jack Cafferity.
"The Smurfs leader puts on a crown, an ermine coat, takes a sceptre and calls himself King Smurf." Seems an appropriate role for Jon Klein.
"Living in a dilapidated hovel on the edge of the forest, Gargamel the horrible sorcerer is evil, cunning and two-faced wizard. He hates the Smurfs and is constantly in pursuit of them but the Smurfs always outwit him and manage to escape. After each setback Gargamel swears he shall be revenged." Even I am not mean enough to cast a CNN anchor in this evil role. Gargamel will be played by Bill O'Reilly.
Papa Smurf will be played by Wolf Blitzer. "You can recognize the village leader by his white beard. Papa Smurf is no less than 542 years old - and no more either. He uses his wisdom to advise rather than tell people what to do. He often rescues the younger Smurfs from danger."
Grandpa Smurf is the oldest of all Smurfs and is played by Larry King. "His energy and enthusiasm are impressive. Besides wearing bright suspenders, Grandpa always wears glasses. He's an avid storyteller and loves to show off some of the souvenirs he has collected during his travels."
I had to take a little poetic license with Brainy Smurf, played by Anderson Cooper. Brainy is a Smurf that takes smurfing very seriously. He is exceptionally smurfy with the snarky comments and finds that Smurf blue suits him very well.
"Since Smurfette's arrival, all the Smurfs are in love. But none more than this chap." This may be a bit of an exaggeration, but John did tell Laura Bush that most of the CNN men find Kyra Phillips to be mucho caliente. So, because of this, John King will be playing Enamored Smurf. (And yes, I am a little jealous of Kyra!)
"The wicked Gargamel originally created Smurfette to stir up trouble in the village. But Papa Smurf's magic turned her into the charming little Smurf that everyone adores." The lovely Kyra Phillips will be portraying Smurfette.
"No matter what anyone says, Grouchy is against it. He grumbles and mumbles and always thinks negative. But underneath it all, he's a softy, but he'd hate it if people knew. "Sounds perfect for Jack Cafferity.
"The Smurfs leader puts on a crown, an ermine coat, takes a sceptre and calls himself King Smurf." Seems an appropriate role for Jon Klein.
"Living in a dilapidated hovel on the edge of the forest, Gargamel the horrible sorcerer is evil, cunning and two-faced wizard. He hates the Smurfs and is constantly in pursuit of them but the Smurfs always outwit him and manage to escape. After each setback Gargamel swears he shall be revenged." Even I am not mean enough to cast a CNN anchor in this evil role. Gargamel will be played by Bill O'Reilly. 
4 comments:
OMG! I love it, don't tell anyone but I still have my Smurf collection from when I was a kid! (only, where's Erica as Smurfette??)
This is a great post!
I usually go to the gym around 7 to 8pm so I could at least catch an hour of AC360 but they switched the usual CNN channel to FOXNews and I had to watch The O'Reilly Factor for a hour. I've never watched the show in its entirety before and all I have to say is, that man is spiteful, arrogant and probably the epitome of what Anderson was talking about when he noted that it's common for cable TV personalities to force their opinions down its audience's throats and how he's against that. After watching O'Reilly, I'm so thankful that there are still journalists out there like Anderson.
hello, i am i great il divo fan and i love ''every time i look at you'' like you,excuse my bad english i am from switzerland, i have a blog www.lovingildivo.blogspot.com it's in german and french, its about il divo of course
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